I Forgot How Hard I Have to Fight

It is only the second day of school, and I am already getting push-back from Lanigan Elementary. I just called the Farmington Schools Special Education Supervisor, Shellie Cole, because Caleb’s teacher is making him do first grade math; we finished first grade math over the summer. So, now I have to fight for him to be treated as a gifted child as well as fight for his rights as an autistic child.

Why isn’t there a Special Needs Advocate in Oakland Schools? This should not be happening. Right now, Caleb is being punished for being so productive over the summer. And when Caleb is bored (which will happen if you ask him to do simple math) he acts out; Caleb needs the stimulation of thinking in order to stay on track. If it isn’t challenging for Caleb, why make him do it?

Plus, yesterday, on the first day of school, the administration started giving us a hard time at drop-off. Yes, parents are not supposed to get out of their car in the drop-off lane, but my husband was driving and Caleb and I hopped out. Why? Because there were no handicap spaces available and the parking lot was a) completely full, and b) a nightmare with cars going in the wrong direction just to find a place to park. Caleb cannot walk through a crazy busy parking lot while I’m carrying in a ton of school supplies. Why? Because we have to provide all of his food and snacks and whatever comes up because he is gluten-free/casein-free; if we didn’t supply the extra snacks, the school wouldn’t provide safe food for him during snack time or special celebrations. There is a kid in his class with a severe nut allergy; NOBODY brings anything in that has even been processed with nuts. My son’s response to gluten and casein is not life-threatening, so they don’t really see it as important. Caleb has regularly come home with a note saying he ate an Oreo or something.

1 in 37 boys have autism. Why aren’t we coming together as a force to be reckoned with? Why do I have to call administrators and talk to a zillion random Farmington workers and educators just to make sure that my son is given his proper education?

My son has the right to the kind of education that is responsive to his needs. My son has a parapro; it is not like it would be difficult for Caleb to do his own challenging work while other kids do theirs.

I forgot about all this hassle. I forgot how everything is a fight.
I hate fighting.
But I have to fight.
If I don’t fight for my son, who will?
Definitely not Lanigan. šŸ˜¦

Study Time: Reframing Homework

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Because Caleb is insanely smart, my husband and I have worked to develop curriculumĀ  that best suits his educational needs. Yes, he has a parapro at school, but what we are working with is a contextual issue. Caleb needs to attend public schools in order to learn how to properly interact with his peers.

However, the school is not an environment that is best suited for Caleb learning information or skills. This is where Amazon and Costco truly shine; they both sell workbooks that allow you to teach your child an array of skills without having to develop your own lesson plans.

The school did provide us with the first grade math workbooks, but we have blazed through those. We are now working on multiplication and division. Some workbooks focus on one subject, like addition or geography; there are also workbooks for each grade which are also incredibly helpful.

I have also found that flash cards are a great way to help reinforce information. With young children, Behaviorism usually works best; performance is the best indicator of success. It is all about practice, doing the same drills over and over again.

We keep a token economy at home, where he can earn (or lose) stars based upon performance. We use the I Can Do It chart at home. We first used a variety of activities, but now we just have one main theme of “No Mean Words,” and all of the stars go into the same pot. Caleb can exchange 10 stars for one book, or he can exchange stars for money which he then uses to pay for excursions to the aquarium or Legoland, etc.

At 3:30pm everyday, we have “study time.” Caleb can choose 2 of the 7 listed possible subjects, which include addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, handwriting, reading, and geography. We also so vision therapy everyday. He controls which subject matter we study first, and I give him the time he needs to answer the questions. Being patient is not a strong suit of mine, but with autistic children, you need to relax and let them answer in their own time. I’m talking like 2-3 minutes, maximum.

The 4 cornerstones of motivation are challenge, curiosity, fantasy, and control. Malone only uses 3, but I have added “control.”

Challenge: Make sure that the subject matter is appropriate for their abilities. It should push them, but not too hard. They should have relative success in the end, even if it is a bit rocky in the beginning.

Curiosity: Be sure to pick a subject matter that is interesting to your child. Maybe they are not crazy about math, but they love Pokemon, so counting Pokemon is a great place in the middle. A lot of autistic children are naturally attracted to electronics; educational games on my son’s Kindle helped him learn how to read at age 2 1/2. Do not discount how helpful electronics can be, as autistic children are not the same as their neurotypical counterparts.

Fantasy: This refers to anything that doesn’t already exist; by taping into a child’s creative side, you allow them to think about the future they want. This may be as simple as thinking up numbers to add together or as complicated as an art project.

Control: Allow your child to have some influence over the subject matter they learn, including how to learn it (workbook, flashcards, problem solving, etc). By giving them ownership, they will be more intrinsically motivated to learn.