Why We Have Chosen to Homeschool

I have posted before about how it is difficult to keep on fighting with the schools in order for my child to get the education he needs and deserves. Over the past year, we have all jumped through many very expensive hoops, having him tested by psychiatrists and psychologists to get an idea of how smart Caleb is and if his behavior can be calmed with medication.

Finally, a year later, and we know from the WISC that Caleb is beyond genius. While taking the test last year, Caleb refused to finish the test and he still got an amazing score. We also have him on medications that have helped Caleb even out – that said, by 6pm, he is nutsos again!

My husband, Caleb, and I all thought that with his NWEA and WISC scores that certainly now Caleb would be offered differentiated education. Nope. We got no help whatsoever. They just asked us to take more and more tests, which didn’t make sense since they had enough information from two years of tests to determine Caleb’s ability. I tried to reason with Shellie Cole, and then her boss, Dr. McDougal. Alas, neither of them were willing to teach Caleb math and reading at a 7th grade level. At some point, all three of us were exhausted and our nerves were fried.

Now, I will admit that having the day free sans Caleb is nice, but it isn’t as nice as having a happy child. After having such family drama last year, I learned a lot about myself. It turns out, I don’t really care if Caleb graduates high school by the time he is 14-years-old like I used to. I just want him to be happy. And school makes him unhappy.

CalebFarmingtonLibrary

Caleb does go to school for 30-60 minutes a day for specials (art, music, gym) and therapy (speech, OT, social work). Caleb and I also regularly visit the Farmington Library and go to the Hands On Museum in Ann Arbor every Friday. At both places, he is able to have some autonomy and he can be “the leader.” He is able to interact with other kids as he pleases, but even just being around other people, he is learning to live in a world full of other people who expect certain behaviors (such as personal space). These are invaluable life lessons.

While Caleb is in school, I stay in the school office just in case there is a problem, but so far things have been going well. If he continues to behave while at school, that might actually give me enough free time to take the dogs to the dog park! I can smell freedom, and it smells like dogs.

I have a lot of spinning plates that I have had to put down in order to focus on Caleb. I don’t think he full appreciates how much of my freedom I have sacrificed, but I think one day he will. If not, I can always rely on my skills in Jewish guilt to torment him until I die. 🙂

 

I Forgot How Hard I Have to Fight

It is only the second day of school, and I am already getting push-back from Lanigan Elementary. I just called the Farmington Schools Special Education Supervisor, Shellie Cole, because Caleb’s teacher is making him do first grade math; we finished first grade math over the summer. So, now I have to fight for him to be treated as a gifted child as well as fight for his rights as an autistic child.

Why isn’t there a Special Needs Advocate in Oakland Schools? This should not be happening. Right now, Caleb is being punished for being so productive over the summer. And when Caleb is bored (which will happen if you ask him to do simple math) he acts out; Caleb needs the stimulation of thinking in order to stay on track. If it isn’t challenging for Caleb, why make him do it?

Plus, yesterday, on the first day of school, the administration started giving us a hard time at drop-off. Yes, parents are not supposed to get out of their car in the drop-off lane, but my husband was driving and Caleb and I hopped out. Why? Because there were no handicap spaces available and the parking lot was a) completely full, and b) a nightmare with cars going in the wrong direction just to find a place to park. Caleb cannot walk through a crazy busy parking lot while I’m carrying in a ton of school supplies. Why? Because we have to provide all of his food and snacks and whatever comes up because he is gluten-free/casein-free; if we didn’t supply the extra snacks, the school wouldn’t provide safe food for him during snack time or special celebrations. There is a kid in his class with a severe nut allergy; NOBODY brings anything in that has even been processed with nuts. My son’s response to gluten and casein is not life-threatening, so they don’t really see it as important. Caleb has regularly come home with a note saying he ate an Oreo or something.

1 in 37 boys have autism. Why aren’t we coming together as a force to be reckoned with? Why do I have to call administrators and talk to a zillion random Farmington workers and educators just to make sure that my son is given his proper education?

My son has the right to the kind of education that is responsive to his needs. My son has a parapro; it is not like it would be difficult for Caleb to do his own challenging work while other kids do theirs.

I forgot about all this hassle. I forgot how everything is a fight.
I hate fighting.
But I have to fight.
If I don’t fight for my son, who will?
Definitely not Lanigan. 😦